Pulling On A Rope
A relationship factor.
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Do you have a poor relationship with a family member or someone you work with? Is there an issue that cannot seem to be resolved and in an attempt to do so, you have held out an olive branch to this person?
But have been rebuffed?
If so, you are doing a slow burn and are now attempting to decide what the next move you will make to get the situation under control. That has been my problem over the past few months with a family member.
I proffered an olive branch that was summarily rejected, this rejection set me back on my heels. I decided to discuss this with a good friend who had a similar problem some time ago. After listening to my diatribe he offered these words
Stop pulling on the rope!
My response was” what do you mean? He said by continuing to pull on the rope, I was prolonging the problem and in fact making it worse. His explanation was that when an issue exists between two people, they are holding opposing ends of a rope. While both people are holding onto the rope, they are creating resistance at each end and that resistance is prolonging the resolution of the problem.
If one of the parties lets go of the rope, resistance ceases to exist. The person who continues to hold on the rope and pull on it is getting no resistance and thus, all that is happening is they are holding onto a piece of rope.
I have pondered on this piece of advice and came to the conclusion it was brilliant.
So, I have let go of the rope and am no longer involved in the tugging. The problem, from my perspective has gone away. The problem still exists for the other person but that is not my problem.
Now how simple is that?
So often in life, we encounter an obnoxious person or get sucked into a problem with a sibling or some other family member. As long as we are holding onto one end of the rope connecting us to that other person, we are forever involved in the problem.
Let go of the rope, the problem goes away.
I think my friend should write a book entitled “Letting Go Of The Rope”. In fact I will bring it up with him.
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